Chinese News Feed

Learning things to stop halfway can not persist. Is this strange child or parent?

supernanny-ipcn @ 2019/12/23


Source CC parents (ID:cc-bama)

A few days ago, I saw a woman leave a message:
When children were young, they were interested in classes and changed a lot. Finally, none of them persisted. At that time, they always felt that those children who were forced to learn by adults were not at all happy.
Later, the child's interest in class gave up the habit of giving up. It also extended to formal schooling. The child insisted that he was not interested in learning knowledge of death, and that the 365 lines did the best. He insisted on dropping out of school to do other things.
As a result, his son grew up without any skills and qualifications, and could only do the hardest and most exhausting work. If you force a child when you are young, your life may not be like this now. At that time only thinking about the happiness of the children, but the result was too much delay.
After reading this message, my heart is really mixed up with five flavors.
As a mother, loving children is natural. It is instinctive to not bear children to suffer hardships. We all want our children to be healthy and happy. But what is real happiness?

Happy childhood, let alone.

It is often said that the children are too tired now to do homework. Many people advocate reducing their children's burden and giving their children a happy and free childhood.
So there are two parents around us. One is anxiety, which is crazy for children to win at the starting line, the other is the comparison of Buddhism. For children, they are completely stocking. , All children are interested in the premise, do not require, do not push, let the child have a carefree childhood.
  • In the evening, homework was done until 11, and the child said it was too difficult for him to write.
  • When he practiced his fingers, he gave up his fingers.
  • Later, high school was intense, and the children said they were too tired to quit school.
Now do not force children, a child will grow up into society, life will be more cruel to force children.
The real love of children is not unlimited connivance, but at the right time, forcing children to take a hand. Help children develop skills and make him strong enough to withstand future storms.

Visionary parents need to be very dessert.

In the yearning for life, Henry Lau was forced to learn violin by his parents when he was young. Because he had no talent, he was forced to practise by his mother every day, and he had to ensure that he practiced piano for more than 5 hours a day. It was not until eleven or two that he won the prize that he really liked playing the violin.
At that time, Wang Xun also said he liked violin when he was little, but later he did not want to pull it up. If he had insisted on that, he could at least be an expert.
Baby asked Herry: "do you thank your parents now?"
Herry said, "I am very, very grateful. They made me not give up."
Baby said she was part of a stocking and grew up. She played when she was young. When other people expressed envy, she said, "I regret that my parents didn't force themselves to learn a special skill."
This is also a common occurrence. I have heard more than one complaint from parents:
I also want to learn more skills for my children, so I will tell my children what classes they are interested in, but how can they catch fish for three days and two days of drying nets? It takes time to spend money without saying it.
Starting with interest, but sticking to it is more than just interest. In learning this matter, it is almost impossible to rely solely on the children's interests and self consciousness.
And visionary parents must be ruthless, forcing the children to make a child.
Buffett once said: when someone forces you to break through yourself, you have to be grateful to him, he is the noble person in your life, maybe you will change and transform accordingly.
In the book "deliberate practice", Benjamin, a psychologist, studied the outstanding figures in all walks of life, and found that they all have one thing in common. In their childhood, their parents had tried every means to prevent them from giving up halfway.
Including Jay Chou, who we know well, was forced to practise by his parents when he was a child.
People are naturally lazy, including adults, and have a more comfortable way to never choose the hard road.
This is especially true for children, and children are mostly living in the present and unable to control and plan the unknown future.
The happiness in their eyes is the judgement of the moment.
So you say, "only if we study hard now, will we get better in the future", they will not be able to get at all. They only know that learning is very bitter, practicing is very tired, and it is better than going out to play.
Of course, we do not mean to force children to learn, children will be able to succeed. First, not to mention that there are many definitions of success. All we have to do is to try our best to create more possibilities for our children.

"Forcing" also needs to pay attention to degree and method.

We all want to give our children a happy childhood, but at the same time, we want our children to have a successful life. But sometimes they do not conflict, but pay attention to methods.
Happy education does not mean education, but guides children to find happiness in their studies. The so-called education and entertainment, in the entertainment of education, learning in the enjoyment.
And how to teach specifically is what our parents should really learn and think.
One
Guide children to develop the quality of not giving up easily.
Parents cannot accompany their children throughout their lives. The way ahead always requires children to go on their own. and Before he is independent, what we need to do is to teach our children the ability to be independent.
Tao Xingzhi, a famous educationalist, said: Conscious action requires proper training and realization.
Children's consciousness of learning is not born, but needs the guidance and training of their parents. So do not envy other people's children, how to take the initiative to learn as soon as they get home, we should blame ourselves for the fact that we do not cultivate children's consciousness.
Once upon a time, my piano teacher told me a story.
She said she had two children at the same time, almost 5 years old to learn, one of them 3 years later, she came to the piano 10, and another 3 years later she came to 599.
She asked me where I thought the two children were.
I think it's genius + hard work + interest.
The teacher said: for the two children, it all depends on their respective mothers.
Although there is a bit of talent in the learning of musical instruments, these two children are similar in terms of their aptitude and comprehension ability.
However, over 10 grade, 3 years, there is no lack of a class, rain or shine, one summer, the rain is particularly large, we all think no students will come to class, the piano room is also flooded, the teachers are draining, but saw the mother and daughter standing at the door.
At that time, I knew that whether she was on the piano or not, she would have a good life in the future because she had a good mother as an example.
At the age of 5 or 6, most of the children who asked for leave on various grounds at different ages were allowed to do so by their parents.
This example does not mean that all the children of piano lessons should stick to the end, or that children do not like it and insist on forcing him to learn.
Rather, In the first few years of life, in the years when children's self-control is not enough, their growth depends largely on the attitude of their parents.
When children do not have the ability to think independently, they urge children to learn, accompany and help children develop good learning habits. Once formed, habits can slowly evolve into children's independence and self-consciousness.
Two
Create more "feel good" experiences for children.
I talked with C Dad that day. I said my dad always praised me for my math when I was little. When I grew up, I really got the best grades in all my grades.
The only thing that happens is that CC's little aunt. (the daughter of my uncle's family, who painted the cartoon for our previous bilingual course) My uncle also praised everyone that she had spirit in drawing. When she grew up, she really entered the highest school of art, the Central Academy of fine arts.
When I have a child and become a parent, I really dare not say, because we really have talent, or because our parents' trust and encouragement make us feel confident and think we are not bad.
And this expertise gives us full recognition of ourselves, so that when we do other things, we also maintain a confidence in ourselves.
Therefore, if your child shows excellence in a certain aspect, she must create a lot of opportunities to make her feel good. The most direct result of her parents' appreciation and feedback to her children is to give their children self-confidence, which is sometimes the biggest motivation for them to overcome inertia.
I believe that by doing a lot of trifles, I feel that I can do well, even a great kid. It will not be too bad to grow up!
There are no born children with special skills. They may have been a little different at first. And then passed by parents. (or others) The discovery, guidance, encouragement and training will make this small difference and achievement a great advantage.
There is no natural born child who can persist in boring things. The real way to go to the end is to maintain a certain enthusiasm for this event. This enthusiasm may be a love, perhaps a pride, perhaps a betrayal.
This is a more powerful force than "forcing".
Some say:
True education has never been a skill of turning a stone into gold and becoming a Buddha, but a tree shaking another tree, a cloud pushing another cloud, and a soul awakening another soul.

Whether for CC's current study or interest class, I am most concerned with C dad, not that she is good at learning, but for her conscientious attitude and her ability to do things.
You know, hard work and perseverance never deceive people.
Of course, no matter what your baby is learning, one thing you must understand when forcing children is Only a few people are successful, most of them are just ordinary people without talent.
So, please accept children's ordinary, just like ordinary us.
The purpose of "forcing" is not the result, but the ability to guide children to learn autonomously, and the future life has more selectivity.
CC parents: "Chinese parents learning plan" proponents, C dad - China Medical University master, C mother - newspaper editorial editor; raising children need chicken soup also need guidance, public welfare to popularize infant feeding, sleep, disease, psychological knowledge. Original public number "CC parents" (ID:cc-bama)

More hot articles

A kind of

Click the picture to read directly.


Children who are unwilling to show are timid.

Grasp these three steps to effectively train children's performance desire.


If you don't do your homework, you must be punished by the train station for begging.

What should parents do if they do not win?


Popular micro lesson

A kind of


The copyright in the picture and other materials in this article belongs to the owner of the copyright. Because it is impossible to contact the copyright owner one by one, if the intellectual property rights of the copyright owner are infringed unintentionally, please inform us in time so that we can take appropriate measures promptly.


Contact us:

Business cooperation: 18616711561 (telephone with WeChat)

Article reprinted: Supernannyipcn2018 (WeChat)

Article submission: Supernannyipcn2018 (WeChat)



Chinese:学东西半途而废坚持不下去,该怪的到底是孩子还是家长?