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"No one can fill our emptiness, not even love."

luqiyouhuashuo @ 2020/06/28



Lu Qi's daily view.



People's uneasiness comes from many places, but the root is probably from desire.


A person who is always thinking about what he has learned and learned will feel full of security, because what he thinks is what he really wants to do every day. But we are always upset. Why? Because we are always thinking about what we have not got, and the more we will not be, the more uneasy we are.


This is the two choice for contentment and uneasiness.


This kind of thinking and choice is also true in our pursuit of love.


01


Before Chen Chen was 28 years old, he never lost love. A proper Pisces, looking for a boyfriend, does not rely on feeling, not relying on heartbeat, with a "good guy, pretty good" standard began a love affair, one is 8 years.


When it comes to seeing parents, they are willing to have children first; when they talk about three or four years abroad, they will never be "green"; when it comes to going to another city for him, they do not feel hardworking alone for three years.


At first, how did we persuade her, she did not waver. In order to get closer to him, he moved home four times a year. He also worked late at night and couldn't get to the station to get lost at the street, and called him without answer. But she did not think of her sincerity, trust and compromise, and the final result was "completely abandoned".


She said, on the day of the breakup, it seemed that there was a hole in the sky, where it could be filled with draught.


She has a dark circle of friends, which is visible only to our close friends. She was deeply in the whirlpool of self negation and self doubt, and turned a blind eye to the veritable evidence of derelation.

After all, the mind is empty, and even the brain can not think it over.


Sometimes, when we pursue love, we use the wrong motive, fill the void and lose ourselves.


So is Chen Chen.



02


Morning after breaking up, in order to fill this inner loophole, make yourself busy, do not give yourself a moment of rest.


She fills her days and hearts with all kinds of things, tries to fill her time with all kinds of entertainment and life, does not give those memories the chance to wake up, and tries to go with friends to try all kinds of delicious food she has tasted before, and arranges weekend arrangements to sing to KTV, singing her throat hoarse.


She always plays until she is too tired to shut her eyes and go home to sleep. She thinks she can forget.


But one day, she discovered that the flaw in her heart had not been repaired. It still leaks, and it still hurts, and it still knocks at all times.


Miss Lu Qi once said, Why are close relationships broken? People who are separated from each other will be so uncomfortable because when your relationship is intimate, your soul life is embedded in each other, so when he leaves, he takes away some part of your body and soul. Two.


How did you create a hole in your heart? It's a matter of one person's action over a period of time. This person has taken away something from you. Though you can't see it, you can feel it; after being dug, you have no material to fill it up, so you can only make it painless, but you can't fill it up.


Therefore, no matter how much we arrange for ourselves to keep ourselves busy, we do not face up to the fact that we do not accept the existence of loopholes.



03


Since it can not be filled, then let go, vent the pain in the heart, can the leak disappear?


After breaking up, Chen cried at night, remembering the past, drinking and hangover, asking himself where he had done wrong and not doing enough well. She opened the dialogs of her ex boyfriend ten times, and silently turned off the nine time. The only time he could only watch his deleted friends was tears.


She also suffered a lot of eyesight because of crying too much in a short time. She was still not free, and the flaw in her heart seemed to be greater in this self torture.


If we fail to vent, let the new love cover the original.


So, Chen Chen tried to fill himself with all kinds of social life. She met a boy who thought that new memories could cover up old memories, try to love, go to music festivals with him, go to exhibitions, watch performances, and go to the movies. Until one day, she accidentally saw the picture of the slag man taking his new girlfriend to France, and once again he was awake all night.


We know that she is not good, just do not look at her wound, but the wound is still there, and it has not healed. She is still very pain, she told the boys to break up, she wants to face herself first.


She has always wanted to repair the hole left by her love, but she can't fix it.



04


The story of Chen Chen always reminds me of the experience of "uneasy Princess".


"Princess uneasy" is a story of adult fables. If you understand this story, you will feel that it is enough to match the little prince.


Later, in a long night's talk, I told Chen Chen about the story of the troubled princess.


The princess is very extravagant from birth. She has everything and everything. In the past 13 years, she has always done whatever she wants, but she never finds anything wrong. Until her beloved mother dies suddenly, the pain engulf her whole heart, and the heart is like a big hole. Wherever she stands, she can hear the whistling wind.


In order to fill the gap in her heart, she traveled to the Kingdom, met with love, and tried various kinds of attempts.


She met. Empty Knight Though she felt the joy of doing nothing, she finally broke up. She listened to her father and felt that only love could save herself.


So she and Fun Prince In love, watching circus, going to amusement parks, running and jumping everyday, life is full of fresh and interesting things. She feels that she has been filled up and the hole has been filled. But the princess was tired and tired of such a life and was not cured.


Later, the princess was in love. Melancholy count She was attracted by his sentimentality throughout the day, comforting him, enlightening him, and being moved by his sensitive personality. She once again felt excited and happy, and realized her sense of being. But eventually the princess was overwhelmed by grief again and fled the count of melancholy.


She met with colorful life. Literary Baron They see paintings, listen to music and write poems together, and their lives are romantic. Her hair turned to color, and she felt that she was really happy. But finally romantic can not fill this loophole, romance itself is nothingness, restless Princess feels lonely attack, escapes again.



Chen Chen is as restless as a princess. When she feels empty, she arranges many things for herself. She wants to fill her time. She feels so full of herself and comforts herself. I feel happy that even love can fill emptiness, but every love makes her feel more empty.


Restless Princess and the empty knight have a very classic dialogue.


Restless Princess: I encountered very painful things, my heart was like a big hole.

Air Knight: I don't know what tragically you have encountered, but indeed, after bad things happen, we need some time to accept. At the beginning, we thought it was not true. When our brain understands this matter, we feel that our hearts are like big cheese, which is full of holes. But you must bear the emptiness of the heart, do not hate it, and comfort it from time to time, you can not keep thinking about it, otherwise the hole will never heal.


This is indeed the case.


People encounter all kinds of things, sad, wronged, tired, unfair, hurt... Our heart will break a hole, like big cheese. We should know that these holes in cheese are produced by bubbles when they are fermented, so they have many holes and dense holes.


Is it also true that human growth is not right? Which adult's mind is not like this, which adult's heart is not like big cheese, are all kinds of holes. If one injury leaves a hole, then our heart must be like this, so it is a normal state. Sadness is normal for us; the traces left by pain and the holes left by pain are normal for every adult.



A person, a thing, a period of time, hurt us, left a hole in the heart, and it can never be filled.


The so-called healing, so-called healing, is not painful rather than filled, a hole formed is formed.


So why is it that the heart of an adult is like a big cheese. It is full of holes, but it does not necessarily hurt. Do we not continue to move forward with these painless wounds and loopholes?


No matter the pain of life or the pain of love, these will become our memories. If you let go of your empty heart and slowly accept it, you will find it will heal itself in less than a year. It will even become the most precious thing in our mind. It is like a secret passage connecting the past and the present, and accomplishments at this moment.


Just as those who have loved us, no matter how they hurt us in the end, we must cherish his love for you. It is true, but we must also remember his harm to you, which is true to avoid repeating the same mistake. We cherish this love and these memories. It will become the most precious thing in our heart, and it will remain in this hole.



05


After I finished telling the story of Princess uneasy, after that night, morning morning no longer intended to do something like that to narcotic herself. She just recovered the pace of her old life. Four months is very long and very short. Chen Chen is OK now. I can only say that I am relieved to see that she has gained a lot of weight.


Her attempt may be the way most people can think of the pain. See her latest micro-blog profile changed to: love the world.


She will be fine, I believe, for a long time, maybe the hole in her heart is still there, but it will not hurt, it will pass away and become a valuable thing in her heart.


In fact, the experience of the princess is like every one of us. When we were born, we cried desperately, hoping that the whole world would know ourselves.

Then, after losing, I began to feel empty in my heart, seeking various ways to fill myself, and even disguised my heart through various social platforms.

Then pursue love, all kinds of feelings, sweet and sour.

Until the end, what the princess looks like is not so important. She will continue to have different wonderful experiences, and eventually find partners who share her own path.


Life is constantly understanding, understand yourself, understand others, understand life.


Life is greedy, hoping to be understood, understood by others and understood by life.


Everyone has an uneasy princess in her heart, but what about it? It is because of uneasiness that we lose face, accept the holes in our hearts, and reconcile emptiness.



- END -


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Chinese:“没有谁可以填满我们的空虚,哪怕爱情也不行”