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Children travel far away to expose their parents' real life: the greatest sorrow of a family is not divorce, not quarrel, but...

shuer667788 @ 2019/10/09


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Tips: light Fang Fang Tree Child Magazine Free key attention


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In the Bodhisattva, when the deep pineapple and the Polish honey are many, it is seen that all the five things are empty, and all the pain is bitter. Sarah, the color is not the same, the air is not the same color, the color is empty, the emptiness is the color. The sari is a law of emptiness. It is neither alive nor dying. Therefore, the sky is colorless, free from all kinds of thoughts, no eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, color, fragrance, touch, no vision, and even unconsciousness. No bitterness, no wisdom, no gain. With no gain. Bodhisattva, which is more than pineapple, is untroubled. No harm, no fear, far from reversing dreams, Nirvana. The Buddhas of the three dynasties, as many as the pineapple and the poemI, had to attain the three duo three Bodhi. It is known that the PAMAS, the great gods, the Daming mantra, the supreme curse, the curse of no other, can remove all bitterness and truth. Therefore, it is said that the magic of the pineapple polo, that is, the curse, is to reveal the truth of the truth. Seeing the Bodhisattva and seeing the deep paddies and the poedies for a long time, we can see that all the five things are empty. Sarah, the color is not the same, the air is not the same color, the color is empty, the emptiness is the color. The sari is a law of emptiness. It is neither alive nor dying.

  • In fact, in the eyes of children, parents should have their own lives instead of just living for them.


Author: Ling Wei
Source: ID: guoxueyike (Chinese Culture)

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Silvia, a famous British psychologist, once said, "all the love in the world is the ultimate goal of polymerization. Only one is to separate for the purpose, that is, the love of parents to children."

Nowadays, most parents attach great importance to the independence of their children. They learn from various educational methods to guide their children to establish an independent consciousness. They urge their children to study hard and offer their children various interest classes to enhance their independence.
Gradually, children are no longer dependent on their parents, but their parents are more and more dependent on their children. All their behavior and all their joys and sorrows are built on their children.
This kind of dependence on children is not temperate. Appearance is a selfless love, but in fact it is a deeply buried pain.


01
If parents regard children as the whole world, when their children leave, their parents' world will collapse.
Since she gave birth to her cousin, aunt put all her energy on her cousin. She seldom gets in touch with her former friends. She takes care of her daughter besides work.
In fact, my cousin could take care of her life very early, but her aunt refused to let go of her work. When my cousin was more than 10 years old, she often cut nails and glasses for her.
Before my cousin went to college, my aunt always had a high spirit. Every day I do my cousin's favorite dish, and I accompany my cousin to stay up all night studying every day, and help my cousin deal with everything outside of school everyday.
But since my cousin went to university, the whole world of my aunt has been empty. After work, she became idle and often watched TV stunned.
Meals are also very boring. They always cook a lot of food for a few days at a time. Over time, the stomach ate something wrong.
Neighbor Zhang grandma is the same, all his life is only for children and live, work half life. All the children are filial piety. After they get married, they hope that grandma Zhang can live in their old age and stop worrying about their lives.
It was a good thing, but Grandma Zhang was very sad. She felt that because she was old, her children began to dislike her.
One day, children will leave their parents and live alone. If parents regard their children as the only driving force of life, then when their children go away, their parents will lose their enthusiasm for life and live alone and desolate.
02
Many parents think that it is the best gift for their children to devote all their efforts and attention to their children. Therefore, as long as it is for the sake of children, it is nothing to suffer for themselves.
Actor Zhu Yuchen's mother is such kind of parents. She said, "I am using my whole life to treat my son. I have no ego at all. I have nothing to offer at home. "
In order to take care of Zhu Yuchen, Zhu mama gets up at four in the morning and cooks pear soup, making mung bean drinks, juice, maple water and so on. And do all kinds of semi finished food, stuffed with Zhu Yuchen's fridge.
Zhu Yuchen went out to shoot, Zhu mother would not idle, back on the induction cooker and Zhu Yuchen toss the major groups, ready to fire for him to cook.
Zhu mother is busy with her son every day and participates in every aspect of her son's life. She thought Zhu Yuchen would be very happy under her meticulous care, but the opposite is true.


Worried that his son was injured in the filming, Zhu mother did not allow Zhu Yuchen to pick up the play. Zhu Yuchen's performance was originally affirmed, and the future of performing arts was excellent, but later he seldom received the drama, and gradually faded from the public view.
Zhu's mother interfered with her son's emotional life, which led to Zhu Yuchen's two feelings failing. She has strict requirements for her daughter-in-law. Must be a good wife and good mother, must be husband for heaven, can not sit on sofa armrest, can not wear exposure. So Zhu Yuchen, who is already 40 years old, is still not married.
Every micro-blog and mother Zhu Yuchen will copy it down. After Zhu Yuchen knew, he no longer sent micro-blog.
When attending the program "my little boy", Zhu Yuchen looked very lonely. When he was alone, he couldn't help crying.
For children, the boundless love of their parents is not the source of happiness, but is a heavy shackle, firmly bound them to move forward.
Ma Weiwei works in the field. His parents watch TV every day and wait for her phone call. On the phone, mom and dad always listen to all the details of a day's life.
Ma Weiwei said, " Every time I finish the phone call, I feel that my whole person has been emptied, but I feel very guilty without calling. "
"I really want my parents to focus on other things, not just me."
In fact, in the eyes of children, parents should have their own lives instead of just living for them.
03
Karl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychologist, has a particularly good saying:
" The worst influence parents have on their children is to make them feel that they have not lived well. "
The best comfort for children is to enjoy their life with their parents.
Gao Xiaosong said, "my mother did not come last year, but I am very happy."
Because his mother was busy with the chorus rehearsal that day. Gao Xiaosong was very relieved to see her mother taking her life seriously.
Raising children is an important part of life, but not all of life. When you are a parent, don't forget that you are still yourself.
Don't forget the self delicately dressed person; don't forget yourself, who loves to laugh at your friend's heart; don't forget the self with lofty ideals.
If you still think you have children, you have no time to take care of yourself. Then give you a passage from psychology Ph. D. Zhang Yiyun:
The more fashionable you are, the more confident your child will be.
The better your figure, the more proud the child is;
The more enterprising you are, the more diligent the child is;
The more you insist on being yourself, the more independent your child is;
The more you know how to give love, the more sunshine your child will have.
The more honest and friendly you communicate, the more honest your child is.
So being a good example is more important than being a good babysitter. "
Therefore, enthusiasm for your life can make your child's future bright.
Author: Ling Wei, source: a moment of Sinology, let culture enter life, let Chinese learning warm your heart, please reconnect with ID:guoxueyike.

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